Friday, March 5, 2010

I'm a Nice Girl...

So why am I having such a difficult time making friends?

The first playdate I attended with my new mommy group was at Chuck E Cheese. This didn't really give me a chance to get to know any of the other moms, but Aiden had fun. So I decided to give the group another chance.

This time the organizer scheduled a playdate at a local children's gym. They had an insturctor who was doing activities with the children and only our group was there. It seems like I could have at least had a conversation with one of the other moms, right?

No one spoke to me!

Even worse, when we were standing at the desk signing the "we can't sue you if our child gets hurt" form, I waved to the organizer of the group. She half smiled and turned her back to me!

Once we went in the gym, I just followed Aiden around while they had free play. He loved it!







"Snowball" fight Kids vs Moms


Holden took a nap for most of the playdate. Usually, he is a really good sleep fighter. He's always afraid that he's going to miss something. Well, when he woke up, they were in the middle of a Bubble Dance Party! Dark room with a spinning rainbow light, music, and bubbles... It made me laugh. Yes, buddy. This is what we do every time you go to sleep!



I finally went up to a couple of moms and tried to start a conversation. For some reason all they wanted to talk about was food. What they had for breakfast, what they were going to have for lunch, what they were making for dinner... I have no problem talking about food, but there is only so much one can take! Needless to say when they decided to go lunch after the gym, I wasn't invited.

Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? Surely, I have more in common with them than the fact that we all eat! We all have children... Maybe they don't like me? Well, I don't care. They aren't going to get rid of me! There are a lot of fun playdates scheduled and I'm finding out about a ton of places I didn't know about. Even if I don't ever end up making friends, Aiden will have fun and I will have fun watching him.

44 comments:

Jaime @ Our Journey said...

All they have to do is peek at your blog and see how friendly you are!! Hope things turn-a-round for you!

Kel said...

Some women are just not very friendly. :( Have you tried joining your local mom's club? That is how I met all my new friends when I moved here. GOod Luck! Happy Friday!
Kel
http://betweenthelines-kam.blogspot.com

phillip said...

Awwww. Poor little lamb. You did get invited for sushi though. Maybe you should just work on getting fat and describing how orgasmic chocolate and grease are. That would probably help. ;)

Anything Fits a Naked Man said...

They probably hated you for being beautiful! Who needs em?

Hi, following you for follow Friday! Love your blog!!

TIFFANY said...

I have the same problem. It's really hard to join in a group of women that's already formed, like this mommy group. I haven't been reading long, so maybe you've tried this, but maybe if you take the kids to a park or something you can strike up a conversation with other moms who are there too but not necessarily there together. It's worth a try.

A New Mom said...

I wonder the same thing too! I've been looking for Mommy friends too and I get the same result! Sigh. Gotta keep trying though right?

New Follower from Friday Follow!

Alicia said...

Visiting from SITS Friday Follow! Can't wait to check out your blog...come visit at www.coffeeandsippy.blogspot.com

a49erfangirl said...

I am now following you from Friday Follow. Sounds like a rough group of moms. At least your son had fun playing with the other kids. The moms group here in town is pretty nice. Somewhat clicky but I don't care my friend and I go together.

Drama queens mum (Kimberly) said...

Hi. I'm following your from Friday follow. It is really hard being in a Mom group. The 1 I'm in now just got me in a playgroup after a year of being in the group. That makes it a little easier to get to know the Moms. There's only 6 or 7 Moms. Maybe see if you can get into a playgroup, instead of just being in the Mom group.

Mama (Heidi) said...

Stopping by and returning the follow for this Friday Follow.
Sorry that your Moms group is less than desireable.

Mommy to a lil lady[bug] said...

Just sounds like you met the wrong group! Snobby is not the kind of people you need in your life.

At least Aiden got to have some fun!

Jessica said...

I can totally relate. After 5 years here (florida), still no friends. Seems when your a mom of teens - it's just not "in". Kind of the same way in blog-land.
New Friday Follower

Krajcimama said...

Stopped by from Friday Follow - and I felt like I was writing this post myself. I lost a lot of my friends once I started having kids and didn't mind too much because I figured I would make new mommy friends...but I have trouble finding time for friends - plus, it seems like I haven't really connected with anyone in the groups I go to. We talk while I'm there - but beyond that not really. :(

It's frustrating and I'm hoping that somewhere along the line it will change a little bit and I'll at least me 2 or 3 mommies to be close with...*sigh*...

Aubrie Knight said...

Love the blog, super cute. I am following from Friday follow. If you want to follow me back you can find me at http://stayhomeandplay.blogspot.com

lifeinbeverlyhills said...

I completely know where you are coming from. I am a very bubbly, friendly person and when we moved back to MI from TX, it took me awhile to make friends. Now I am a part of two fantastic groups...it just took time. If you like the playdates then I'd say keep going back. Hopefully they will be more friendly next time. :)

laura said...

just wait and you will be surprised how things will turn out. =)

KatherineAnne said...

I am saying a prayer for you! It is hard to find friends in a new place, it has been hard for me to find friends in the city we moved to for Mr.B's school. I think it must be hard to find people who already have "their groups" set up...You are a sweet and kind person so I know that once they get to know you they'll love you!

I hope it gets better soon!
xo,
KA

Kelly at Home said...

Oh Melissa, I can totally relate! For the first three years of my oldest daughter's life (and she's 3.5, LOL) I had such a hard time clicking with other moms. They were either older than me and didn't seem interested in someone younger or there just weren't many around. Slim pickins'! We lived in a rural, one-horse town back then.

When we moved to the suburbs, I met SO many more moms, but I still had the same problems. Then, lo and behold, at our development's pool I ended up meeting a mom who lived right down the street from me with two boys that matched the ages of my two girls...and now we're BFFs. I love her so much that I'm not even too adult to use that term, LOL! God is good, and he'll bless your socks off in the mama friend department! Trust me on that!

P.S. I just LOVE how cute your blog is! Your design and writing is capital A adorable. :o) Have a great weekend!

Kel
www.kellyathomeblog.com

Nicole Bouchard Boles said...

Stopped by from Friday Follow - and I'm so glad I found you! Now following so I don't miss anything!
Please follow me at
http://www.everydayphilanthropistblog.com
Nicole

Tracy said...

I feel the same way! I just joined a meetup playgroup in December. Everyone is friendly, but I haven't really made any friends, know what I mean? I will say, the more functions I go to, the more comfortable I get.

BTW, I found you from Friday Follow!

Tracy

Messy Mommy said...

Ugh I so know what you mean! I just moved and I'm having a difficult time making friends too. Guess I'll just have to be satisfied with my bloggy friends! :)

alittlesugarandspice said...

happy friday follow!! I'm following you now!!! My twins are sept. 2009 babie too!;) Check out my blog and follow me @ http://alittlesugar-n-spice.blogspot.com/

Annette Kerr said...

Oh I really felt for you when reading this post! I've been there too!

I like to think of myself as a friendly chatty person, and I always go out of my way to make people feel welcome. However, I don't always get the same treatment when I join a new group. It's hard not to take it personally, but you really have to realise that it's their loss.

I think you have to just keep doing what you're doing and, eventually you'll come across nice friendly people who will make great friends.

I wish you lived near me! :)

Annette
www.mammakerr.com

Crayon Wrangler said...

Oh I know how you feel. I recently did a sing along on my blog about playdates and some of the mothers that are there!

Found you through FF and I am so happy that I did!

Shannon said...

I feel so sad for you! Man!!

I had a similar experience... I got the guts to go to MOPS, even though they all knew each other and I was so nervous about being new. No one talked to me! I cried when I got in the car. I was so disappointed after getting the courage to go. :( I haven't gotten the guts to go back yet. I hope you'll try a different playgroup!

Freely Living Life said...

I'm so excited to find someone with two little boys! We have two boys as well, ages 2 & 3. I look forward to following you.

I came across your blog through "Friday Follow". I am now one of your followers through Google Friend Connect.

Have an excellent weekend!! <3

Mom on the Run said...

I feel the same way at play dates. It seems like everyone else knows each other and doesn't need someone else to hang out with them. Girls are the worse!

Carrie77 said...

Awww sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Some moms groups I think tend to be a little snooty or cliquey, you should see if there are any others that are maybe smaller?

jackie said...

Hopefully the playdates will get better.

I'm a new follower from Friday Follow. Have a great weekend!

Sinful Southern Sweets said...

So sorry those playdates are not going as great as you'd hope. You're doing the right thing by not giving up. You son will have a good time and I bet in time these women will come around. Sometimes people just have no social skills. You might just have to let your niceness shine extra bold!! Friday Following! Have a great weekend!

Holly said...

Oh, that looks like a BLAST! I would love to play there with my children!


Stopping by from FF....a new follower and loving your blog! Would be great to have a visit from you!
mommysblessings.blogspot.com

Cher said...

They are all just jealous!

A day late, already following you! Happy Follow Friday!

If you get a chance make sure you check out all 17 of my giveaways! www.mamasmoneysavers.com

BluePixo Entertainment said...

Hi There, Coming over from FF. We are now your fans

And don't worry if they don't want to be your friends, remember "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

Visiting from "All About Toys" http://bluepixo.blogspot.com

coleemmett said...

We'll be your friends! Mommy and I really like all of your Aiden and Holden stories...

Heatherlyn said...

I don't know. You're very pretty. I've heard that women can be intimidated by that. And you are smart, too. Maybe they can sense that. Not all Mom's are very secure. Some groups can be ridiculously clickish. It's not you. And there are a lot of really great people out there.

Frugal Vicki said...

You know, I have tried playgroups before, and I am not the biggest of fans. It seems if you can get in on one as it is starting (or even start your own!-most of the ones that you find on the web have a place for new groups to be added) you have a shot, but otherwise they all know one another already. I have always felt I was in high school, being judged. Other suggestions I have to meet people is to call the local preschool and see when they have open gym. That way not everyone already knows one another. Also, I started a mom/tot class and we met other moms that way. Hope you find some good friends soon!

Debbie said...

Hey, I've got an award for you over at my blog :)

www.thehusaileybunch.com said...

Good morning! Stopping by from Connect MEme Monday! Make it a great one...

Mommy Moment said...

Ok, that is silly. Sounds like a bunch of teen girls if you ask me LOL.
Do not worry about it. I wouldn't want those kinds of women for friends anyway!
Hope you'll stop by and visit me because I WOULD LOVE to visit with you!
http://mommymoment.ca

Shanilie said...

I am soooo the same way. It is very difficult to make friends as an adult. Even if I find someone to bond with, I am usually upset by the way they parent. Maybe it will get easier as my kids get older.

Following from Mclinky Monday from POM please feel free to pop by some time!

Fertility Chick said...

I'm not a mom (yet) but I can definitely relate to the frustration of trying to make friends as an adult!

Glad to have found your blog via MEme Monday - I'm now following! Hope you'll stop by mine sometime!

Erica said...

This is the exact reason why I'm terrified to go to any of the playdates for the mommy group I joined recently. I don't want to feel awkward and uncomfortable every time I want to take my child out. I need to get over it and just go, but it's kind of hard to do.

I don't know why it's so hard to make friends as an adult, but it sucks.

It does look like Aiden had fun though! That's always a good thing. :)

Together We Save said...

I have always had a hard time making friends... well since my girls were born anyway. But all these other commenters are right just keep trying... and if your son is having fun it will work it's self out.

One Take On Life - Heather said...

It can be tricky making new friends. Keep trying but if it doesn't feel right after awhile maybe you need to find another group. Have you tried finding a MOMS club in your area, that is the name if you google it.
I am stopping by from POM, now following you.